It’s pretty simple…I have amazing friends that have been through some shit with men over the past few months and as I went to the bookstore and checked Amazon.com for self-help books, I simply couldn’t find what it is that I needed, or what they needed to actually HELP them.
They needed a guide book, a manual, a how-to book on how to cope with the situations they themselves put themselves in. So I decided to write one.
Basically it boils down to this:
There are 4 Types of ways of becoming a side chick or as I like to call it 4 types of SCX:
The I’M WAITING FOR THEM TO BREAK UP Side Chick
You’re in love with each other. It’s obvious. The connection is real and the sex is raw. He’s your guy- probably started off as ‘just friends’ but you mistakenly fell in love with each other. You simply can’t compete with time – he met her first. He was hers first. You can’t really understand what he still sees in her, people change, relationships evolve. It’s clear to everyone around you that’s he’s fallen for someone else, you, but somehow he still stays. Oh yeah, he loves her and he doesn’t want to hurt her, yet you hurt in the process. So you wait…
Actress: Lenore Coer
Then there’s the I ONLY DATE UNAVAILABLE MEN Side Chick
You really don’t care. You prefer men without all the extra stuff that comes with them. You don’t want them to stay over and you don’t want them to get too attached. This SCX walks a very fine line between approved side chick member and official jump-off carrying card-holder. You’re not trying to steal anyone’s man or break-up a happy home, but if the man was truly happy would he really be coming to your bed each night? His wife can have him back once you’re through with him anyway. You prefer an older man – with a little more to offer and teach you. If the devil wore a blue dress, it would be yours.
NEXT, There’s the I BECAME LESS OF A PRIORITY Side Chick
This one is a little tougher. You didn’t actually pursue or settle for a mediocre guy. You were in a relationship, probably a great one. Happy, healthy and stable. And yet somehow, something or someone else got that coveted #1 spot. Could be a job, a relationship with a family member, co-worker, a game, or a controlled substance. He’s not exactly cheating on you, at least not yet, but you can tell that you’ve gotten pretty uncomfortably settled in your role as a side chick. Your man may not have even noticed, but if you can show up butt ass naked in front of him while he’s watching the Seahawks game and he doesn’t budge…I’m sorry but you have to wear the SCX badge with the rest of us.
Actress: Michele Woodson
Lastly, the saddest one yet: The I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS MARRIED Side Chick
You really didn’t know. You trusted him. Believed him when he said he was at work. Or at the movies. Or jogging. Or rescuing pandas from Lake Michigan. Sure, you could’ve paid more attention to some stuff, maybe you felt your woman’s intuition telling you something wasn’t right. But you trusted him because you wanted to. You were faithful to him. And then one day it all came crashing down. Damn social media and your stalker friends.
Actress: Colby Lemmo
And then there’s me.
The I’D RATHER BE SINGLE OR DEAD Than a Side Chick
I’m pretty simple. I’m writing this book to help my friends. They’ve all been in (or are currently in) SCX positions or dealing with the aftermaths of these types relationships. What I intend to explore are the rules of being an SCX and shed some light on the phenomenon that’s sweeping the nation. I’m not condoning that women settle for this type of behavior or encouraging men to cheat. As my friends are all beautiful, intelligent, and successful women that quite honestly couldn’t help who they love. I’m here to offer guidance, support and love. And occasionally pass a box of tissues.
And I’m Ty.
Our Clan has been together since undergrad and this is our story.
Which Side Chick are you?